Rho (ρ)

I'm beginning to think that i have the ability to attract soccer balls (soccerballphile?) the way electrophiles attact electrons. I mean, every single time i play soccer, the ball is bound to smack right into my face and send my glasses flying. There was once when i excused myself from PE ( we were doing soccer training then) because of some back injury i had. The moment i could resume PE and entered the field, the ball landed right into my face again! And just today, i played soccer with some of my churchmates and you would've guessed it, i got smashed in the face AGAIN. Argh! But there was an additional injury today. My ankle's twisted because of the impact while deflecting a ball moving at high spd by Deyao. Now i'm partially crippled. >.<>

Pi (π)

I did a survey on my temperament in church recently. And here are the results, based on Dekai's analysis.

PHELGMEL
(Combination of Phlegmatic and Melancholic)

Of all the temperament blends (there were Sanguine-San, Choleric- Chol, Phlegmatic- Phel and Melancholic-Mel), the Phelgmel is the most gracious, gentle and quiet. He is rarely angry or hostile and almost never says anything for which he must apologize (mainly because he rarely says much). He never embarrasses himself or other, always does the proper thing, dresses simply, is dependable and exact. He tends to have spiritual gifts of mercy and help, and he is neat and organized in his working habits. Like any phlegmatic, he is handy around the house and as energy permits will keep his home in good repair. If he has a wife who recognizes his tendencies toward passivity (but tactfully waits for him to take the lead in their home), they will have a gd family life and marriage. However, if she resents his reticence to lead and be aggressive, she may become discontented and foment marital strife (!!!). He may neglect the discipline necessary to help prepare his children for a productive, self-disciplined life and so "provoke his children to wrath" just as much as the angry tyrant whose unreasonable discipline makes them bitter.

The other weaknesses of this man revolve around fear, selfishness, negativism, criticism and lack of self-image. Once a PhelgMel realizes that only his fears and negative feelings about himself keep him from succeeding, he able to come out of his shell and become an effective man, husband, and father. Most Phelgmels are so afraid of over-extending themselves or getting overinvolved that they automatically refuse almost any kind of affliation (^^)

Personally I have never seen a PhlegMel overinvolved in anything - except in keeping from getting overinvolved (-_-"). He must recognize that since he is not internally motivated, he definitely needs to accept more responsibility than he thinks he can fulfill, for that external stimulation will motivate him to greater achievement. All phlegmatics work well under pressure (HAH), but it must come from outside. His greatest source of motivtion, of course, will be the power of the Holy Spirit.

Barnabas, the godly saint of the 1st-century church who accompanied Apostle Paul on his first missionary journey, was in all probability a PhelgMel (You think so?). He is the man who gave half his goods to the early church to feed the poor, the man who contended with Paul over providing John Mark (his nephew) another chance to serve god by accompanying them on the 2nd missionary journey. Although the contention became so sharp that Barnabas took his nephew and proceeded on their journey by themselves, Paul alter commended Mark, saying "He is profitable to me for the ministry" (2 Tim 4:11). Today we have the Gospel of Mark because faithful, dedicated and gentle barnabas was willing to help him over a hard place in his life. Phlegmels respond to the needs of others if they will just let themselves move out into the stream of life and work with people where they are.

I think that the paragraph on my weaknesses are more applicable and true compared to the rest of the information. How much do you agree to this chunk of survey results?

Omicron ο

Its been a long time. I never intended to post now but i'm feeling really depressed and there isnt anybody to pour my heart out to.. not like anybody would care to listen to me anyway.

Have you felt the joy of being alone? Away from the hurtful people of this world? Yes, that includes those who are close to you. Your family, friends, etc. Life was almost that way until somebody special enters in and changed everything. And so you try to make things out with the perfect godsend companion, only to realise that the compatibility between the two of you starts to fade with time. To make things worse, you do not have the ability and knowledge to make things better when you make stupid blunders.

Now, if you knew that things were going to be that way, would you still choose to go close to that person? Or would you rather maintain your attitude of being alone? Afterall, you decided to be alone for the very fact that you don't have the capacity to be of good company. Why do you yearn for a peson even though you know he/she is going to die and leave you one day?

I hate it. hate it all.. I cant be myself. I get excited, my heart keeps pounding. Yet, i just dont know how to say it all. What a loser. Sigh.

Xi (ξ)

Today marks the end of my common tests! :)

My deepest apologies for not blogging for such a long time. Especially to my mysterious tutor who is trying to help me improve my English. I haven't had the mood/motivation to post anything. Argh. Must work harder.

Anyway, i shall first talk about the mission trip i went on the 7th of June. It was great. There were a few hiccups here and there but nonetheless, we did well. Both the audience and the performers had an enjoyable time. The Malaysians laughed and cheered almost all the time. It seems so easy to please them compared to Singaporeans who would have thought that our performance was "lame" or boring. Halfway through the program, we were suppose to sit in with other groups and listen to them share the Gospel to the Msians who were non-believers. So I sat in with one group, and this guy started sharing to me in chinese. He was really excited when he found the chance to share to somebody. But i spoilt his fun when i told him i was a Christian already. How sad is that. >.< Well this trip makes it my second time going out of Singapore. I would like to travel overseas (and not just our neighbouring countries) more next time in the future. But there is no time and money for such trips. Sigh.

Moving on to the rest of my holidays... I must say that this holiday is one of the worst i have ever had. I used to go biking and do all sorts of cool stuff.. well maybe not cool but more useful than rotting at home. But this time i spent my days cooped up at home and playing Suikoden V. And you know what, i'm not done with the game yet. ^^ Had to start mugging for my remaining cts on the last wk. I realised having cts before and after the holidays can be rather advantageous. You dont have to cram all your mugging for so many subjects in the holidays. Initially i thought it was ridiculous cause i had to mug before and during the holidays. But now.. nvm. Btw, the exams were okay. I dont think i will do very badly. Math yesterday was quite easy. I got bored of the Chem paper today though. Weird. Those who are still in the middle of their exams. All the best! :) Oh I finally tidied up my shelves and personal drawer =) My mom constantly nagged at me to clear it up but i couldnt find the time to. But at long last, i have done it. Quite proud of myself.

Next up is the concert. I'm having second thoughts about asking pple to go now. The concert isn't that good. And its definitely not worth the money. I think our performances lack substance. Seriously, the script for the drama is utterly BORING, and its all about reflection of life as a jc student. But i'm pretty stressed up cause the band is playing Santana for the dancers. And i'm the drummer. So if i screw up, my band and the dancers will kill me. But please dont be mistaken, we do put in a reasonable amt of hard work to make this performance successful. Its just that it doesnt have a lot of creativity and thought put into the programmes. Ugh. Begone. Zzz..

Nu (ν)

And i finally turn 17... Thanks to all who remembered and wished me. And thanks for the gifts as well.

Well, one week of the holidays have gone (just like that? @_@) and i have done pretty much.. nothing at all. By nothing i mean NONE of my homework are done nor have i mugged for my remaining common tests. But i already plan to start mugging during the third week. I spend the first week of my holidays in a very 'fruitful' manner. Lets see.. i've been going for practices, more practices, and even more practices. (Talk about monotony) The best part of this week wasnt my birthday. But rather helping out in the garage. Quite sadly, i feel that having an acappella group to perform for the garage isn't as interesting as having a band to perform. I mean not only was the turnout disappointing (for the 2nd day), but everybody's attention span was kinda short. But nevertheless, i thought it was a great performance by vertical harmony. Also, i managed to pick up some cooking skills.. which i believe will come in handy in future.

Anyway, tpjc is having this panorama concert on the 4th of July. Its to to celebrate tpjc's 20th anniversary and there will be performances put up by our performing arts people. Anybody interested? Tickets are being sold at $20/30. I know this is really ex but please buy the tickets from me so that i dont have to fork out my own money. lol. Nah buy the tickets because you want to go for the concert. I'm pretty sure you guys out there already know about the 'teacher-student scandal' in tpjc. i hope it doesnt affect your mood to go for this concert. :/ And tmr i'm departing for the mission trip! The entire trip is gonna end even before i know it. I really hope we're gonna do a gd job. I just have to act as a gangster and play well. And when i return i will have to go for band camp. Argh. What a long and tiring week. Sighh.

Mu (μ)

Once again I'm drained. Completely drained. I should be sleeping now. But i'm still online for some reason.. Argh i have to report to the band room by 7.15am. Thats earlier than normal school days. All just for one stupid performance to commemorate colllege day. Borrring. And after that i need to go down to eh and runthrough the entire program for the mission trip. Thats not all... i still have to go to church for worship practice. Die. Where am i going to get the energy to study now? KO @_@

Cherish those who love you, and care for you. Never to take them for granted. And never ever hurt them. Self-pity and self-regard i know them not. But what matters is the appreciation of other people's feelings. There is no I, but only you/us.

lambda (λ)

Guilt. An irrevocable mistake. But i see it all now. My eyes open before me and show me what i truly am.. what i truly desire. Self-centredness is like a disease. One that that spread to and affect others. Focusing on your own wants and needs, neglecting the emotions of others. I hate it. I hate it all... Why am i like that? I am in the wrong. Not you. You were never in the wrong. The way i treat you.. the way i'm insensible to your feelings... I am utterly sorry. I will learn to accept and respect what you want. Forget about myself, its all about you now, just all about you...

Sigh... So many things are cropping up.. i have rehearsal tmr for college day which will be held on saturday. I also have practice for the Malaysia Mission Trip which i will be going on the 7th of June. Physics and econs common tests are next week.. So many things to juggle yet there is time constraint. I need to manage my time better. Prioritise them and do them accordingly. At least there's the June holidays to look forward to. And my birthday :)

Time to go and do my reading log. And sleep early. If not i'll just die tmr.